Failing

This is going baaad. I'm supposed to write down everything i eat and what i do and show it to Sarah on thursday. I did so good tuesday-friday, but then on the friday i lost it again. And I've lost it ever since. I felt ok on the saturday, like i knew rehab wouldn't be easy, so i didn't feel like a failiure just because i failed. I didn't feel i failed i just felt like well, that willl happen, now i gotta get a grip of myself and get going again. But i just fell down into the same drain again, and started feeling swollen and fat and ugly in the face because it swoll up...

It did work from tuesday-friday. I think that's because i had a fixed schedule then. I attend class, i eat breakfast, the lunch box that i bring... nothing more and nothing less and i feel fine. I little bit more challanging when i get back home in the afternoon, but since i made my way so well during the day i just wanna be able to pass the whole day with this good rythm without failing.

But this weeks record doesn't look good to me and i don't want to show it to Sarah. I wonder what she's gonna say. Im gonna be good now. From tomorrow and on til tuesday. That'll make it less of a failiure