I just don't seem to be able to make it !!

I thought I was doing so well today. It's sunday and sundays are my absolute worse day when it comes to keeping myself from binging and barfing. But now that I'm aware of it i tried today to be good and have a light breakfast. I had a small lunch basically containing sallad and I felt fine. Then I kept going to the fridge snacking fruit. Had a large slice of water melon, 2 pears, an orange and 2 kiwis. You'd think it wouldn't be bad, cause it's containing vitamins, water, fructose and glucose... but, as we all know fruit has that effect on you when you start blowing up like a helium balloon because of all the water and glucose. Had a look at my belly and it was terribly inflated. And this is not all i'm gonna have today, I'm going over to my friend Edward's place to have dinner. I freaked. Not the way I usually freak after over eating, but I thought I had my nutrition intake under control and it turns out i didn't. So off we go, to the bathroom and throw up. And the thing that makes me feel worse is that i feel good !! I mean, it makes me feel bad because i was supposed to keep it under control, and i didn't, so i went, i threw up and now i feel good again. I'm being a hypocrate, to myself, to Sarah and to my family. Nice work Zoey...