Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Drunken mistakes

Just purged. I haven't eaten barely anything today. Not on purpose, i've been running around like crazy all day trying to make deadlines. And I have! Only that when i did eat, round supper since we i was having a barbecue with my friends, i had alot of the good stuff. Started out slowly and ok, two saucages was enough to start with. And two glasses of wine. But then i had some more wine. Josephine asked me to go and get the cup cakes she made me for my birthday, which i happily did. Then i had some more wine, until it started spinning in my head, and then i had a total of 6 cupcakes! Realized my mistake when i started comparing my horrible body with my beautiful friends' bodies. They are stunning. And look at me! Whatever happened to my belly!! I've always had a flat belly, even if my arms and legs' been under all critique. But now i can barely see my feet, i look pregnant! My sister says it may be because of my eating disorder, but that's bull shit. Why wouldn't i have gotten that belly before then? I've been eating the same things and acted the same way for a long time. Why hasn't the belly come before?? Nevermind, im gonna get to the gym first thing in the morning. Have fun everyone!
Zoey

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